Another multi-day post
Merlin’s brought in Saliesh, a Canadian Hypnotist who tended to like X-Rated stuff rather than just getting morons to say stupid shit. After much peer-pressure from Alan (something that he loves) and Lara, I decided to volunteer. Steve and Lara also went up. Lara quits after like 5 seconds because “it wasn’t working on her”. Bollocks Lara!
Anyway, being hypnotised isn’t being in a trance, it’s simply the hypnotist making whatever he says a FANTASTIC IDEA. So fantastic infact that humping a chair, spanking anyone wearing black, imaging that my wiener was made out of elastic and some girl in the audience was sucking it… all great ideas!
Blah blah… I’m not in a great writing mood so I’ll skip to the end. Basically, Saliesh’s promise that he would help us all stop smoking and have more self confidence etc… well that was just a quick post-hyponotic thought (a small speech that won’t expire apparently). Feeling ripped off, I struted down from stage ready to do the following until I left the building:
- Have a multiple orgasm any time anyone shook my left hand
- Tell anyone I want to fuck them and spank em if they say “hello you” to me
… and plenty of people took me up on that. I was spanking some naked arse of some lasses from Pemberton, everyone of my mates gave me a multiple (and a few of thier mates too). I was quite glad to get out of there.
Anyway, slept for 6 hours then…
Friday: Getting the Skis
I got up at 6:45 to get the Scratch BCs. I was down at Glacier Shop at 7:15, 5th in line! Yes, some people were sadder than I. What did my nuts in that day was that the first 2 people in line BOUGHT 2 PAIRS OF SCRATCH BCs EACH! Thanks thats fair.
Anyway, I grabbed the last pair of Scratch 120 Bindings and got some 179 K2 Public Enemies (which were a close second to the BCs).
I’ve got my first pair of new skis!
I grabbed a ski lock from CanSki (I’m not loosing these bad boys). Got to work at 10 (ahhh my late day!) and had people pestering me about the hypnotism and the skis all day.
Saturday: Skiing Blackcomb
Why the hell did 19000 people show up on my day off? All the lift lines were 15+ minutes! It took us ages to get up there so we decided to forgo Rendevouz breakfast and hit up the Crystal Hut for some Waffles.
Now, the Crystal Hut has power and network cables for the computers (thank god, I was scared) but does not have:
- Flushing crappers – its long drops all the way
- Staff discount on some of the nicest on mountain food
Waffles cost $10 each after tax! God damn, they were good though. Stewed? strawberries and blueberries, choclate chips, maple syrup and whipped cream topping a delicious freshly made waffle! The rest of the menu looked good, steak sandwiches, salmon filets, hunters chicken, all with roast veg and potatoes.
The great food aside we couldn’t escape that once we got down the run’s we would spend more time queuing than we did skiing. We went all the way down to Excelerator and then Jersey Cream, queuing at least 10 minutes at each. We then headed to 7th Heaven and came straight back after we saw the huge queue. God damnit this wasn’t good for anyone.
In the end we did a few runs near Solar Coaster and headed home.
That night was Jenelle’s Birthday. Celebrated suitably with plenty of booze in Tapleys!
Today: Level 5 Ski Lesson
Alan was too hungover to come up the mountain, so he could not attend the ski lesson he had organised that we all do. I rocked up there and got an Alpine (greasy) Breaky down before meeting Rachel for the lesson.
It seems a lot of the ski companies were setting up demo tents etc so I rocked up and got some free chapstick and a drinks holder from GoreTex and a caribiner from Motorola. We then did a load of the usual ski lesson stuff, but added in:
- A small cliff jump
- A gladed run
- Plenty of deep powder
- Being really really cold since it was -15C
My hands felt like they were going to fall off at the end of the day when I decided to go back down (1/2 hour early). Last time I wear gloves, mittens all the way (unless I’m wrong).